Loneliness Is a Drug song artwork

Troy Calder · Beta Tested · Track 05

Loneliness Is a Drug

A song about the despair of loneliness and feeling doomed to be trapped within the cycle of being left. Troy Calder tackles this heavy subject with a ballad that walks through the acceptance and personal responsibility needed to care about breaking the cycle and finding hope.

RockHard RockRock BalladPop Rock

Stream the Song

Loneliness Is a Drug video thumbnail
Official Video LinksLoneliness Is a Drug

Watch the Video

Loneliness Is a Drug
Loneliness Is a DrugCOMING SOON
Loneliness Is a Drug

Lyrics

Think I got a black hole in my chest
Like no matter how hard I try
I'm never enough and I just get left
By the  people that I love
When I'm feelin' overwhelmed
And my heart has grown too frail
When the world comes crashin' down
I just push everyone away and I bail
I lost everything and everyone I’ve ever known
The only thing left that I know
Is how to be alone
Am I a curse?
Am I the problem?
Am I the cause?
Am I on bottom?
Cuz loneliness is a drug
And I just can’t kick it
Yes loneliness is a drug
And I'm addicted
When it all gets too heavy
And I'm feelin' like I have failed
When the world comes crashin' down
I just run away cuz everyone has bailed
Cause I don't know how to keep ‘em
Maybe it's me and I'm the reason
Maybe I just need to be alone
'Cause loneliness is a drug
And the days are getting shorter
And I feel myself getting older
And I wish I could let someone hold me
But the nights are getting colder
And I feel myself getting weaker
'Cause the drinks are getting stronger
And I try to find a reason but
I don’t know if I can much longer
I wish that I could say I was alright
But the only thing that I know
Is how to be alone
Am I a curse?
Am I the problem?
Am I the cause?
Am I on bottom?
Cuz loneliness is a drug
And I just can't kick it
Yes loneliness is a drug
And I'm addicted
When it all gets too heavy
And I'm feelin' like I have failed
When the world comes crashin' down
I just run away cuz everyone has bailed
Cause I don't know how to keep ‘em
Maybe it's me and I'm the reason
Maybe I just need to be alone
'Cause loneliness is a drug
Then I remember who I am
I was a child once, filled with big dreams
I had big plans and that should matter
Life really isn’t as bad as it seems
I need to pick myself up
Maybe  you feel the same
I still want my life and to be loved
Won’t you remember my name
I can achieve it
I still can change
I can kick this habit.
Yes I can kick the habit.
I’m not a curse
I’m not a problem
I may be the cause
I may be on the bottom
Though loneliness is a drug
I know I will kick it
Yes loneliness is a drug
I won’t be addicted
When it all gets too heavy
And I'm feelin' like I have failed
When the world comes crashin' down
I won’t run away tho everyone has bailed
I’ll find my worth and learn how to keep ‘em
Even though it's me and I'm the reason
I won’t always be alone
'Cause loneliness won’t be my drug
I’m tired of feeling sorry for myself
I’m putting my pain back on the shelf
I will heal and I will kick this habit
Loneliness is a drug and I just won’t have it!

Behind the Music

Composer’s Thoughts

As a sufferer of clinical depression, this one hits very close to home and provides a deep look into my soul. Depression and feelings of loneliness, lack of agency and being trapped are debilitating and far too often overlooked. Men are often taught to bottle these things up and bury them. I urge anyone who is dealing with these feelings to seek professional help. There is no shame in it, and often it can be due to chemical imbalances that are manageable with the right help. For others, simply finding support groups are an option. One of the things to remember, as the song extolls is that we are all worthy of love. All of us. You won’t always be alone and that’s important to remember. This too shall pass.

Troy’s Thoughts

This one is heavy, man. The lyrics really got to me and I felt them. But the final message is so uplifting. I have had my fair share of dark thoughts, same as anyone. It is so vital to keep hope alive.